Monday 8 October 2018

Thanksgiving 2018


Pretty sure I haven't written a poem since high school. No joke. But this was a way I could write my feelings while telling the story of our Thanksgiving weekend. It'll be one we will never forget but have had nothing but tender mercies in the last two weeks and have felt God's love through it all. General Conference was seriously a huge added bonus. Having a miscarriage over thanksgiving weekend was a very painful and emotional but humbling experience that reminded me that I have so much to be grateful for.


You’ll always be mine

It was the last weekend of summer
When mommy found out she was expecting
I knew your dad would want to know
So telling him right away was pressing

I told him over dinner
By giving him a gift bag
He opened it so slowly
But the reaction didn’t lag

He pulled out a newborn outfit
And asked who it was for
I told him it was for us
For come May our baby would be born

We started to plan and plan
Having another miracle addition to our home
We would need a baby gate for the stairs
For little crawlers love to roam

The day came up so quickly 
For mommy to see your heart beat on the screen
I woke excited for my appointment 
And wore my favored pair of jeans

As I walked through the door of the clinic
The Holy Ghost immediately  let me know
Something was very very wrong
A great peace came to my soul 

While I waited in the waiting room
I questioned that strong feeling
Again I was reminded to feel peace
I could only stare at the ceiling

The tech called me to the room
And she began to check things out 
At about only thirty seconds in she said
I have many many doubts

That feeling I had had
Was actually true and real
For a part of me was grateful
The spirit let me know and feel

 I wept several tears
As the doctor and nurse talked to me
But the spirit continued to comfort
I’d like to know if it was a he or she

Mommy was heart broken
But the spirit wouldn’t let me get mad
When I told daddy the tragic news
His heart hurt ten times as bad

I told my son that his little sibling 
Was safe in the arms of our father of heaven
He asked me how many kisses I wanted
Three four five six or seven 

I went to work that day
And kept the news hush hush 
For I knew it was better to be busy
And continue to be in my usual rush

 I went to the temple the next day
And thought about the covenants dad and I made
For one day I know for sure
We’ll be be together again and you won’t be strayed

The spirit let me know without a doubt
My grandparents, Garth and Leslie were waiting for you
For you’re in good hands my child
This is all I know that I can do

 You continued to stay with me
Even though I knew you weren’t breathing
Mommy tried to enjoy your presence
But it hurt knowing you’d be leaving 

The day came for my procedure
For modern medicine to take you from me
I knew in my heart this was the right treatment
For nausea had almost ruined me

The flood gates had really opened
When I knew what had just happened 
I felt bad deep down
I was at a point where I was maddened

I received a blessing from my favourite Sir
Who spoke of gratitude and Gods love for me
He let me know God knows my pain
And to allow continual  peace from thee

Heavenly Father has a plan for us
That families can be together forever
This I know with all of my heart
And I so dearly treasure 

I’ll miss you more than you’ll ever know
You make me want to be better
I will do everything I can and more
So we can enjoy the eternities forever

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