Thanksgiving 2018

Pretty sure I haven't written a poem since high school. No joke. But this was a way I could write my feelings while telling the story of our Thanksgiving weekend. It'll be one we will never forget but have had nothing but tender mercies in the last two weeks and have felt God's love through it all. General Conference was seriously a huge added bonus. Having a miscarriage over thanksgiving weekend was a very painful and emotional but humbling experience that reminded me that I have so much to be grateful for.

You’ll always be mine

It was the last weekend of summer

When mommy found out she was expecting

I knew your dad would want to know

So telling him right away was pressing

I told him over dinner

By giving him a gift bag

He opened it so slowly

But the reaction didn’t lag

He pulled out a newborn outfit

And asked who it was for

I told him it was for us

For come May our baby would be born

We started to plan and plan

Having another miracle addition to our home

We would need a baby gate for the stairs

For little crawlers love to roam

The day came up so quickly 

For mommy to see your heart beat on the screen

I woke excited for my appointment 

And wore my favored pair of jeans

As I walked through the door of the clinic

The Holy Ghost immediately  let me know

Something was very very wrong

A great peace came to my soul 

While I waited in the waiting room

I questioned that strong feeling

Again I was reminded to feel peace

I could only stare at the ceiling

The tech called me to the room

And she began to check things out 

At about only thirty seconds in she said

I have many many doubts

That feeling I had had

Was actually true and real

For a part of me was grateful

The spirit let me know and feel

 I wept several tears

As the doctor and nurse talked to me

But the spirit continued to comfort

I’d like to know if it was a he or she

Mommy was heart broken

But the spirit wouldn’t let me get mad

When I told daddy the tragic news

His heart hurt ten times as bad

I told my son that his little sibling 

Was safe in the arms of our father of heaven

He asked me how many kisses I wanted
Three four five six or seven 

I went to work that day

And kept the news hush hush 

For I knew it was better to be busy

And continue to be in my usual rush

 I went to the temple the next day

And thought about the covenants dad and I made

For one day I know for sure

We’ll be be together again and you won’t be strayed

The spirit let me know without a doubt

My grandparents, Garth and Leslie were waiting for you

For you’re in good hands my child

This is all I know that I can do

 You continued to stay with me

Even though I knew you weren’t breathing

Mommy tried to enjoy your presence

But it hurt knowing you’d be leaving 

The day came for my procedure

For modern medicine to take you from me

I knew in my heart this was the right treatment

For nausea had almost ruined me

The flood gates had really opened

When I knew what had just happened 

I felt bad deep down

I was at a point where I was maddened

I received a blessing from my favourite Sir

Who spoke of gratitude and Gods love for me

He let me know God knows my pain

And to allow continual  peace from thee

Heavenly Father has a plan for us

That families can be together forever

This I know with all of my heart

And I so dearly treasure 

I’ll miss you more than you’ll ever know

You make me want to be better

I will do everything I can and more

So we can enjoy the eternities forever